It has been so hard not having my mother around anymore. I miss her laughter, I miss talking with her, I just miss her as my friend.
July 12th I was told that my mother had brain tumors, so I flew out to see her on July 13th just before she had surgery to see what kind of tumor she had. She had a 3 inch tumor in the top of her head that was affecting her speech, right side of body, and a 1 inch tumor in the back of her head that was affecting her balance. She had surgery and they told us she had 3 months to live at the most. She had grade 3 tumors. Then a few days later they told us that she had a different kind of tumors that with treatment she could live for 2 to 5 years so of course we were hopeful that she would be with us much longer than we first were told.
I was with her in the hospital everyday for 8-12 hours a day everyday. My dad would come with me as well. We would just spend time with mom taking care of her the best we could. She regain so much of her speech, walking and talking and then after a couple of weeks we started her first treatment of chemo. I was with her that day. She was scared and held my hand all day and into the night. I just sat there with her as she slept. I was so thankful that I was with her and helping her by just holding her hand and bringing some comfort to her. She is a strong women. A fighter, she has been working really hard at getting better. A few weeks later we took her out of the hospital after a month and she went to a rehab center. I saw her try to get better and work hard but she was so tired by now she just couldn't do much. She didn't want to eat or drink anymore she just wanted to sleep. I saw here slowly slipping away and it was breaking my heart. I couldn't do anything to make her better all I could do was love her, be with her, laugh with her, cry with her and just enjoy the moments I had left with my dear sweet mother. I would take her outside to feel the sun on her body. I would push her in her wheel chair and sing gospel hymns to her. It would make her smile and relax. It was some tender moments that we shared together. We would have some personal and private conversations between mother and daughter. I enjoyed those moments so much. I would just sit with her in her room, feed her and take care of her the best I could. I had been with her almost 6 weeks and it was time for me to fly back home to my family. My heart was breaking as the day arrived that I was leaving her, I gave her a hug, we had a prayer together, and tears were coming so hard and fast I couldn't see, but I leaned over to my mother whispered in her ear "I love you, mom". And then the song "God be with you til we meet again" came into my head and I knew I wouldn't see my dear sweet mother alive again. It broke my heart.
I fly home and then arrange for hospice to come and take my mom home. She was home about a week and then passed away holding my dad's hand, her husband of 51 years. It was so hard to hear that my mom was no longer with us in this life, but I am truly thankful that we are a family that will be together again in the next life.
I truly am thankful for the many years that I had my mom in my life, she was the best mom and truly was my best friend. She will be greatly missed. I love her dearly.
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